A view from the other side….

December 26, 2014 at 6:01 am 23 comments

When I launched this blog back in 2007, I was in the process of de-converting from Christianity and trying to come to terms with my non-belief while pondering how I even could have believed in the first place.  The Bible, which I once believed to be the Word of God without contradiction, became a book of myths, fairy tales and riddled with contradictions.  The God described in the Bible, who I once believed to be a loving Father in heaven, became an evil psychopath who used humans as pawns in some wicked cosmic game (see this blog).  Through this site, I found many others who were dealing with the same issues and we all wrote blogs and engaged each other in discussion.  Before our two year anniversary, we had reached 1,000,000 views and had over 20,000 comments.

Gradually, we all began contributing less and at some point, the blog atrophied and primarily remained active by Leo, through comments on the Mormon thread and spam.

Why did we quit contributing?  I know for me, I came to a point that I just didn’t care anymore.  Many of my former beliefs became so ridiculous to me, that it seemed pointless to even discuss it.  I became firmly rooted in the “other side” and I no longer needed to come to terms with my non-belief, it was a reality.  I am interested to know if this was the case for the others also.  In other words, I became fully transformed by changing the way I think.

I’m assuming there are constantly new groups of de-converts who are walking the same journey we walked and I would love for these groups to keep the blog alive as it’s a useful process to come to terms with non-belief.  I’m not sure at this point on how to connect with these individuals but please comment here if you would like to become a contributor to this blog.

I will try to do a soft re-launch in 2015 and see where things go.  I will dig through my email and see if I have any de-conversion stories I requested and begin publishing those.  I welcome any other suggestions.

– the de-Convert

donotbeconformed

Entry filed under: The de-Convert. Tags: , .

Linking a great post An interview with an ex-Evangelical Christian

23 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Linda  |  December 26, 2014 at 6:59 am

    For some unknown reason, I received your message via email today. I am into my second year of deconversion and still need alot of help. It would be nice to have this blog as another resource.
    Thank you.

  • 2. The de-Convert  |  December 26, 2014 at 12:23 pm

    Linda, thanks for the response. Have you read through the old articles? The easiest way to access them is to find a favorite blogger and click their name under the “Contributors” section on the right as the “Archive” tab is not really updated.

  • 3. Ally Cross  |  December 28, 2014 at 9:10 am

    I just found this blog recently and I am going through the process of de converting. the posts have been extremely helpful as I feel like I am wading into a whole new way of thinking. I hope you get this blog alive because it has helped me tremendously.

  • 4. ubi dubium  |  December 31, 2014 at 9:44 am

    I’d be happy to be an occasional contributor, and there may be some articles in my own blog archives that might be appropriate to re-post here. I think that, to really get this blog back to being a useful resource, we’d need to have active comment moderation. For the past few years the comments have been dominated by spammers and a few persistent christian trolls who have been using the blog as their own pulpit. If we can eliminate those this place could once again be great as it used to be.

  • 5. dnbman  |  December 31, 2014 at 1:55 pm

    I was active for a brief time probably 5 years or so ago. I feel very much how you described: many of the issues and ideas simply don’t matter to me any longer. The Ryan Bell story reminded me of this site. Strange and fitting that this post was one of the leads on the main site. Hope everyone is well.

  • 6. The de-Convert  |  January 2, 2015 at 2:20 am

    ubi,
    I agree. I’ve been keeping up with it 🙂 Send me your email you use for wordpress and I’ll add you to the blog.
    paul

  • 7. Alban  |  January 2, 2015 at 5:52 am

    Educating people in an evolving society is 2 tiered. 1st encourage how to, vs. what to, think. Time has come to move away from herd instincts including skeptics, as well as the devout. 2nd, informing the readership of wide ranging perspectives helps those trapped in the LDS, leaving it or questioning christianity to have more faith in themselves and not inherited authority figures. Think for yourself, rather than like a parrot.

    So I don’t think you have to reinvent this ‘wheel’…I’ve been following the numbers and it appears there’s been a surge since the end of 2011.

    Compliments to all of your contributors. Well written and thought provoking!

    The trolls mentioned are good in one sense. They help the reader to measure their growth or lack of it. I just don’t like the commercial ads that slip in. It’s humorous however to assess their perceived potential demographic audience here.

  • 8. HeIsSailing  |  January 2, 2015 at 6:21 pm

    Believe it or not, I still write online but rarely on the subject of religion any more. I would not mind continuing here as an occassional contributor..!! This site was very important to me when I was in the midst of shedding religious Faith..!!

  • 9. AgAth  |  January 3, 2015 at 2:50 pm

    Keep it going guys n’ gals. You will never know just how many you have helped, but one would be enough.

  • 10. Quester  |  January 10, 2015 at 5:08 am

    My permissions seem to be still valid, here. I’ve responded to the few comments on articles I had written (and deleted a lot of spam on those same articles).

    Really, I was discouraged from contributing as comment moderation disappeared, but I also had less to say as time went on. If you’re serious about bringing this back, though, I’ll see what I can contribute.

  • 11. Quester  |  January 18, 2015 at 10:18 pm

    I notice that, once again, we’re getting increasing amounts of spam.

  • 12. Peter  |  January 24, 2015 at 9:05 pm

    I would be happy to put forward my deconversion story and also happy to contribute on a regular basis. I have put a great deal of thought about many topics that surround this experience and am sure the content would help to assist others at different stages.

    As a teaser, I’m male and turn 45 this year. Have been happily married for 20 years and have 3 boys. I grew up in a loving and caring family as the son of a pastor in Christian ministry. I have one natural brother and two adopted sisters being Chinese/Indonesian.
    I live in Australia, have my own business and have traveled the globe many times including living overseas for about 3 years of my life.

    More to follow.

  • 13. Mark  |  February 27, 2015 at 10:11 pm

    Although I deconverted many years ago, I’m still very interested in hearing others’ stories. Knowing the range of different things people experience during deconversion, I’m better able to offer help to those I meet elsewhere who are battling doubts, depression, etc.

    At some point I’ll sit down and write my story too. I’m a 45 yo male missionary kid with an adopted American/Japanese sister. Although my parents stopped being missionaries when I was 6, I was raised to be, as my mom said “spoiled for the world”. Home schooled with very few opportunities for socialization and lots of church, bible study, fear and guilt.

    I’m much happier these days living in sin with my girlfriend and hanging out with intelligent friends who are able to think and reason for themselves.

  • 14. ... Zoe ~  |  March 18, 2015 at 2:49 pm

    Greetings from Zoe aka NinjaBoo. :mrgreen: *big grin*

    Good grief. I’m still here in blogging world. Remember me? 🙂

    Every day I wonder why I’m still here. As the years go by I continue to meet via blogland those who are doubting, questioning and leaving their faith. I think it is why I’m still here. To be able to come alongside of them to say they aren’t alone and to say, been there, done that.

    I morphed from my former blog A Complicated Salvation which you use to link to into Secular Wings. I thought I’d take off from the whole Christian/deconversion topic to life in the secular world but really, it pretty much stayed the same. You can move on to a point but we still live in a predominately “believing” world. Though we may have “come to terms with non-belief” some of us continued writing about how that works out in practical terms in our every day life.

    For me, I tired of the tug-of-war that showed up in debates in the comment section. I’d rather just encourage and support those in transition. The spam was terrible here and I eventually removed the link in my blogroll.

    I didn’t follow into the new community Facebook area because I don’t do Facebook.

    Feel free to email me (you use to have my email. It is the same one I’m using to comment here.)

    I’m not sure I care to contribute if I have to deal with people commenting with “You were never a Christian in the first place” stuff. Every person that repeats that phrase to some of us thinks it is the first time we’ve heard it. Not. 🙂

  • 15. Quester  |  April 21, 2015 at 3:59 pm

    Well, dC, it’s four months later and this site once again devolved to undeleted spam and theists arguing against each other and copy/pasting performances for strawman atheists. This was an important place for me when I really needed it, and I’d love to return the favour. This environment doesn’t favour that, anymore.

  • 16. ... Zoe ~  |  April 21, 2015 at 7:16 pm

    I agree Quester. There has to be some sort of moderation provided. As well, there is a need to curb theistic enthusiasm unless you want this site to be for debate. I don’t wish to disabuse anyone of their beliefs and spend my time in a merry-go-round format.

    It is unrealistic to have for example one post that garners all the comments here, that is the Mormon thread. It’s gone on endlessly and has ended up an apologetic thread.

    I see little use for my presence here as well. I’m not sure if you are reading this or not.

  • 17. Alban  |  April 21, 2015 at 9:42 pm

    Zoe, I like your purpose…helping people out of their indoctrination. In my way of thinking, your work is very valuable for a transition that some, but not all may want to consider. (lots of ‘some’)

    Some can still grow, but not want to let go of the comfort they get in their faith.

    Stick around. This can get good. Just don’t tie the journey into an expectation of a particular destiny.

  • 18. Anonymous  |  May 20, 2015 at 10:23 am

    I am so glad I came across your blogs. I am Christian but I disagree with so many things in the bible. When u try to discuss this with other Christians, you don’t get real answers. All they say is the bible is god word. When men wrote it they were over come by the holy spirit
    Hope you keep up with these truths about the bible.

    Emmanuel Vencatsamy

  • 19. Alban  |  May 23, 2015 at 7:38 am

    # 18… Emmanuel- Inspiration needs grounding and clarity. The Bible mixed real inspiration with political agenda. Emperor Constantine and the early Universalist/ Roman Catholic Church producing the Bible (what many now call “The Word of God) in the 2 Nicene Councils of 325 and 349 AD/ CE. The mix did not present or produce clarity. All it did was to justify 3rd party oversight-establishing behavorial expectation for the masses, mortgaging happiness to the afterlife, cloaking that in the grace/inspiration of God. Quite a production, but nowhere close to accurate for the human race or to what Jesus was offering.

  • 20. Alban  |  June 6, 2015 at 4:55 am

    Anonymous #18. Your journey smacks of independence. Feel what you REALLY want in life. Be simple in that analysis. Yield to the feel if all seems equal. Differentiate the feel from emotion. Give the unimaginable, what was not created and has no ending (if it exists) the chance to fulfill that wish, probably the wish to be happy.

    Prompts are grounded in sincerity when you put this wish out (more so within) without a worldly agenda.These prompts will guide you to answers that can fulfill and astound! This is a form of singly directed prayer, not mixed in with any worldly goal.

    If you were an atheist, no need to analogize as a prayer. Simply wish, but wish big from your sincerity. Both groups get the same prompts expressed perhaps with variations, but aimed at the same goal. Like a bulls eye.

  • 21. mysteryofiniquity  |  January 19, 2017 at 3:38 am

    Hey there everyone. I too stopped blogging ages ago. I too quit talking about de-conversion because I eventually tired of the same old arguments by theists who just could not take ‘no’ for an answer. I relapsed somewhat by beginning to attend Quaker meetings with my husband, but there is no dogma involved and it works out reasonably well as a meditative thing. Anyway, I’m still around. Good to see some old friends here although it took me awhile to find the new url.

  • 22. Albie Hurst  |  January 21, 2017 at 3:56 pm

    It was great to see the notification once again in my email. I had wondered what happened. Thought I was deep sixed as I am basically a theist, although not traditionally. Presenting the concepts of a direct literal knowing from the opposite side of skepticism- something vital (where was it?) missing from all faiths and whose determination/measurement/realization is so simple, big thinking cannot comprehend, is hard, when rationalizing/believing alone are the measuring sticks.

    Silence and or meditation where thought can be slowed down, even quieted as in Quaker meetings mysteryofiniquity, are perhaps a more suitable prerequisite, along with a genuine desire for unconditional peace, to discover the residence in each one of us which is timeless, and whose recognition is unmistakable. (somehow)

    What’s the old expression…”you had (have) to be there to appreciate it” ? Check out wopg.org After the initial short video, click on The Keys link. Cheers.

  • 23. mysteryofiniquity  |  January 22, 2017 at 4:12 am

    That’s exactly it Albie, a silence beyond knowing and measuring. I shall check out the link.

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